Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Quirky Old Fashioned Family Sayings

I really wanted to write down some of my dad's sayings. I've emailed so many people to remind me. I am going to include a few of Steve's that came from his side and a couple from Justin Hall, a missionary that served in Fillmore that we stay connected to with the blog, emails, etc. He is a real cowboy, but even more than that he is a cowboy poet. I feel so blessed to know him and his family.

This is how I remember my dad's looks the most. The older Gene Wellman looks a lot like Jack Nicholson. My dad's personality was not at all like Jack Nicholson, my dad was super funny. I couldn't bring too many friends over. I was afraid he would walk around down-stairs in his under-bunders My best friend Jeanie was used to it. She always got a kick out of him saying LSMFT. In real life it means Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco, and he smoked Lucky Strike cigarettes. To my dad it was short for put on a tighter bra when you are riding the horse, especially when I was showing the horses. Guess he didn't like guys or judges looking at me. It meant, "'Loose Straps Means Floppy Tits." It was all about "strappin' them back." According to Molly Shannon. (SNL) Jeanie will lol when she sees this--I know she's never forgotten that. I think she was told that everytime she came to the house to ride with me. Okay...Here's the list:
"Oh, this and that and stuff like that" (we said it and still say it)
"Ya' want a pokey hat?" (sounds bad, just an ice cream cone)
"What For?" ask my mom...she'd say, "Cats for, kitten britches, wanna' buy a pair?" real fast
"Go break me off a switch!" my mom....I hated that! She still runs faster than I do
"Rode hard and put away wet!" I heard that a lot and had to walk my horse an hour after every ride and if the horse was wet still, it had to have a blanket. 
My dad, "If you don't stop cryin' I'll give ya somethin' to cry 'bout!" From Everyone in my family
"That (creep) is lower than a rattler" I know you can go lower, like in a wagon wheel rut. (Creep is a substitute word. I think I'll have to do that with a few others on this list.)
"You're just like a blister, show up when all the work's done." My son's saying
"Go play on the freeway!" Ewwww or "Go take a long walk on a short pier!" I hate those.
"Hotter 'n a three-balled tomcat in a pepper patch." Did I really write that?
"Build a bridge and get over it" or just plain "Get Over It!!!" My husband
"This is such a purty day, glad I didn't strangle as a baby." Mr. Willard Beckley
"You can't fix stupid!" My husband
"What n' tar nation?" I have no idea where that came from, but my mom even said that today.
"Better than a poke in the eye with sharp stick.."
"What ever blows your skirt up." Ron Meadows
List of the subtitute "F" words: Not the really bad ones...
"Windchee" Granma Connor
"Bucksnort" Granpa Connor
"Tooter", "Let One," "Pass Wind" Last one refers to a horse
"Horse Apples" Dad said that's why that place is called Apple Valley. Or "Go clean all those Horse Apples on...." (and that was just about everywhere!)
"Quit Being sassy or I'll paint yur back porch red!"
"Don't make me stop this car!" She did, my mom
"Behave or I'll sell you to the gypsy's!" I said that to my grandchild last week (Mom....? Dangit)
"Your hairdo looks like a prairie chicken!" Shelly Smith and we say it all the time another one....
"You little humans!" or "You little Beans!"
"Whoa, Did ya' comb yur hair with a firecracker?"
Justin Hall's quotes and some were my dad's too:
"Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyways."
"You and me are gonna' lock horns!"
"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining!"
"Don't bite your nose off despite your face." Everyone in my family
"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."
"Accckkkeeee Doo-Doo" "Poopy" "Poop" Mostly, "ACCCKKKKEEE!!!"
"I'm gonna kick your (butt) so hard, you'll wear it as a'hat!"
"Putty-knife" or "Monet" or...there's lots more...but my girls describing other girls
"He couldn't hit (shoot) the broadside of a barn" My dad
"She got ants in her pants?"
"Work'n like a dog." or "Sweating like a pig" lol pigs don't sweat and our dogs don't work.....
"You could just grow potatoes in thar." (ears)
"Yee--aahhh, all waaasshed-up with a dirty neck" My mom
"Crick" The creek behind our house--it's a river right now, cuz it's raining
"Circlin' the drain" dying
"fair ta middlin' " My husband
"Grubs on!" Dinner's ready, everyone says that
"We'll wait for you like one pig waits for another" if you miss the "Grubs on" Steve, my husband
"Wanna' hear a dirty joke...White horse fell in the mud" I heard that hundreds of times. An fell for it over and over. My dad
"You're so loud, even Mel can hear you!" Etchells Family, but Mel has passed-away and that even gives the saying, a deeper meaning. I told his wife recently we say that, and she cracked-up. He's been gone for a lot of years now.
"Quit running around like a chicken with it's head cut off." My mom
"Oh, sssshhh Chipmunks!" My mom
"Your Grandpa Joe can't carry a tune in a bucket!" My grandma Wellman
"Happy as a tick on a fat dawg." Ron Meadows
"If 'twas a snake it'd bit you!"
"Slick as a whistle!" My dad said that everytime he didn't hit a rock, diggin' post holes
"Well, just bless her heart." When you think you've said something not complimentary about someone-Oh, we all say it.
"He's busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kickin' contest" My dad
"That (SOBs) as full of wind as a corn-eatin' horse. My dad, of course
"Off like a herd of turtles" Mostly, my dad said that backwards
"Wish I had a swing like that in my backyard." Steve looking at a senior girl, when he was a freshman, near the pool side alley and ran into the pole. Yes, he fell down and I think he said he cried. I know her name.....
"He's out n' the marble orchard." Everyone--about the cemetery
"Well, cover me in honey and roll me in oats-just call me a Honey Nut Roll" My husband is happy
"Tighter than the bark on a tree."
"If I were (a dog) as ugly as him. I'd shave his (rear) and make him walk backwards!"
"I'll be darned!'
"She's so buck-toothed, she could eat an apple through a picket fence." My dad and my husband
"Slower than maple syrup."
"Scared me out of my skin." Yes, my parents did that a lot
"Talkin' poor mouth." My husband doesn't like pitty-parties
"____ is going to hell in a handbasket" Grandpa Joe
"She'll just bite yur head off!" My dad talking about my mom
"Madder Than a Firecracker" "You're drivin' me up the wall."
"He could fall in an ( sh*#.....outhouse) and come out smellin' sweeter than a rose" My dad and my husband uses the substitute word--funnier with my dad's. I'm bad, I know.
"Yur ugly and your mother dresses ya' funny." Steve to my son, still!
"Am gonna' knock ya' n' to next week!' My dad (never ever spanked me lol)
"Crazier than a run-over dog" My dad
"He got hit with the ugly stick" Steve's favorite line You can add uglier...if you say whopped with the whole forest.
"She's like puttin' a dress on a worm." Steve about Tressa and the nickname stuck, "Worm"
"She's got summer teeth" My Steve, meaning some of her teeth are missing
"Butter Face" My Steve, meaning she's got an ugly face.
"Madder than a wet hen." My dad
"I'm not asleep, I'm just checkin' my eyelids." My husband
"I'm freezin' my tail off" My dad
"Act like you got manners" My dad, mom, and both grandmothers
"You (darn) pot-licker!" Yur a mess 'cuz yur licking the pot for cookie dough or the sop of a roast
"Fish or cut bait" My dad, get to work
"I'm gonna' jerk a knot in yur tail." My dad and Steve
"I'm gonna' slap yur nakked, and hid yur clothes."
"Think thie'all waaaoosh them toys aft the kids waller n' them?" To Bree in the library in Arkansas The lady's accent was so thick that I can't even write it like she said it.

I have tons more, better go to bed. "I keep checkin' my eyelids" and I'll be "lookn' tomorrow like I been drug threw a keyhole backwards."

1 comment:

WatsonFamily said...

Love IT. I recall hearing a lot of those and I had forgotten about the one "I'm gonna' jerk a knot in yur tail." They are all very fun...and you are right Grandpa does like like Jack Nicholson.....do you think that is the smirk he had on his face after he gave us kids (DOG) Jerky??!!