Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Signs Of The Times

You know that it's a sign of the times when your own mother has lost it and wants me to convert to the ways of the world. This card was for my birthday! She says that when you get older...weird stuff goes into your head. I may like aging.

"Signs of the Times" could be a book title and not just about signs. I looked at the 'No Whining" sign in my last post, I mean the post before the last post, and thought about a scripture I found useful for my children and my husband (he would say it was for me, un..ahhh) Titus 3:9 "But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and striving about the law, for they are unprofitable and vain." I personally love all of Titus Chapters, including 2:3-5 also, but right now and for my purposes, I'm all for the usefulness of the admonition: "foolish questions are vain" at least, when someone else says them. I had to sit down at the dinner table last night next to my son-in-law. Definitely, not my usual spot and suddenly he went into this long tirade about how the toilet paper needs to be hung in the bathroom. I actually gave him a good answer on that. But, he kept on and on and it seemed my husband even joined his side of the argument. I smacked him. And he said something like, "I (meaning himself, and that's totally not true)always has to hang it" My husband doesn't hang the toilet paper. "Are you kidding?" He just starts a new roll and sets it on the bathtub. "Now" he says, just tell the mother, "Okay, you're right!" And completely not mean it, but that statement makes me quit arguing, like I won? This is where my face turns red, I mean redder than the cancer, beet red! I may have smacked Dave. (Yes, Dave confirmed that I had smacked him this morning) Okay, now in the verses just above in Titus 3:9... I'm not supposed to say evil of no man and be gentle. I repent, I do, and it's here written for all eternity on the Internet. At this point...I may add this little rant is of no consequence and I shouldn't even be talking about it and for the most part everything that comes out of my mouth or the keyboard should be completely banned. H0, h0, h0! I do mean it but it makes me laugh completely out loud. (That's all I can say... "ho,ho, ho"... because my lips are cracked from the facial sandpaper I've been taking for my skin cancer.) I wish I got some unbridled love and affection for my affliction. I love you Tressa, you rock! And so does Bree, for embracing 5% Fluorourcil. rock..she rocks.

Steve decided early on in our marriage that we would not be complainers because we would grow-up to be old grouchy pair, that smacked each other. He bought this sign for just me--it was his idea, then.....we got this wonderful tin sign that was really posted in places in this mission area of Stilwell, Oklahoma,

and then, this other one, 'cuz he's got a job with Homeland Security, and...

this one below, well, that's obvious for LDS members. As for the spitting tin sign, Steve doesn't want in the house-but the barn's okay. The jackass way not really him, she's a girl and donkey kicks just like me. He likes Rosa (her real name) and just because Steve has always liked the word "Jackass" Now, he can call everyone but me, that name. I'd let him call me Maria or Rosa and right there, he is still in the bounds of decent language. He gets the point across anyway. We want our two little Jennets to bare us some sweet little baby curly mules, and make money, so Jackasses are a necessary farm animal for us. And that's a long story in itself and for the reader might be too graphic. We do talk about this and that, and stuff like that, at the table. Rosa heard me typing with her big bunny ears and let out long, HON.....HEEEEEE. She wants to go get BREAD. ewww Don't want to offend anyone.

BTW... the bathroom kind of talk...invariably sets off our daughter to burst out with some random "Quito." Don't ask us what she meant??!! She was laughing so hard and then stopped... asked us why we were laughing... we were laughing at her. Duhr.... She started laughing harder, I was really hoping she would breathe. Kiely has by-far, the most contagious laughter I have ever heard. Steve Jenkin's, Marnie's husband--my other son-in-law, laughs pretty good, too. He sounds like a little kid.

I think my uglee face is making me so strange. I look like an Alien Reptile. Today, I look 80% better and it's not as good as this picture. eyes are swollen shut. So, Here I Am, for the world to see. "Happy as if I had good sense." The Vicodin helps. Sorry if "I been 'talkin' through my hat" If you don't get's just fine.... I may delete this whole post.

There goes another bunny rabbit. Lips pointin' down. I look dead. I'm zippin' it! Rambling on......with no consequence.
Getting Old Can Make A Person Really Grumpy, Its a Sign of Our Times


The Knappy Crew said...

Mother, I am with you. Why do our husbands think they are the end all when it comes to things like that. I say we should just bow down to their foolish arguing with fingers cross and a grin on our face and say "All hail the Toilet Paper Kings" They want that title right? lol

Wait, that would make us the peasants of the Kings of the T.P.. hmmmm what's worse?

Susan said...

Yay!!! You are so intelligent. Why didn't I think of that? Dang! Weren't you there at the dinner table? I know, you're afraid of Dad, huh? When you go out today could you go to Burger King and get me two hats? I've always been the peasant in your father's eyes. He's the plunderer. Now...we won't go there...I like Indian Princess and he's going to be the new chief....nevermind, that has some buffalo blanket in it. I quit.

Unknown said...

you two are funny. i will call david the toilet paper king! you forgot to post that we changed your donkey's name to banana! hahaha