Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Arkansas - Southern California, You Decide. Who Thought This Sweet List Up... Had a Mind Of A Cutworm.

Arkansas Accckkkk! This is my 100th post! Now I forgot what I was going to write. There I go, I uploaded a picture. I absolutely love Arkansas! Love it! Actually, it is the greenest place I've ever been and we went there last year in February. The picture of Jane is my grand-daughter, my grandson is just as cute! You just have to peek at Bree's Blog

All my life I thought Iowa was the center of the universe. So many of my relatives homesteaded there. My mom's side and my dad's side before the train went through across the country. It was the last stop. I wish I had some family that started in Arkansas.

Bree sent me some information about Arkansas when she first moved back. There's a lot of funny stuff that people do that is just amazing. Like rubbing the fire flies on your face at night and the liquid makes you look spooky. Some of the "frady-holes" or tornado shelters are made from buried buses. But the real stuff, it's just like here----we just don't notice it. Steve was crusin' though Bree's back alley with Google Maps and I asked him? Is that our backyard with all those storage containers and cars? No, it's Arkansas.

Things that happen here and they are the same as in Arkansas? Yep.


Arkansas vs. So. California........You decide!

1. Go ahead and throw out that toilet. Yep, Kiely's old one is still in the roll-off container waiting a trip to the dump. It will grow lichens on it before it goes away. This isn't Arkansas?
2. We don't keep firearms in the house. That is such a loaded phase. I have bullets, cartridges, and firearm crap everywhere, but I'm not tellin' and you won't ever find it. My mom put some away 40 years ago in our big other house and it's lost. No one stole it--take my word on that.
3. You can't feed that to the dog. Oh, my heck! Our dog's name is Little Pig and she's on a diet. The other two dogs, dumb and dumber (Actually, Darby and Dixie) my mom told me they ate fried green tomatoes the other night. That's probably why I'm up listening to them barking in the barn at this very moment. Dixie and Darby and Little Pig sound kinda' like they live in Arkansas. No, Southern California
4. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe. How 'bout 10 of them hanging on and off the golf-cart going full-blast all over the ranch and even through Jurassic Park and the crik? Yeeeeaaaahhh. Safe. Not Arkansas?
5. Wrasalin's fake. Sooo, Luchadores don't exist and they're not real? Guess who goes to the fights? AMA the ambulance drivers and often the fire department. Not Arkansas?
6. We're vegetarians. lolz0rrzz Translated: Southern California / So. States term accent added for and extreme of LOL (laughing out loud.) Even funnier than LOL. 4-H and FFA here. We eat what we raise. Do not eat horses or donkeys.
7. Do you think my hair is too big? Kiely would you rat my hair up higher? It's flat. All my girls have the hair of 5 women. Question posed to me today? Did you comb your hair with a firecracker? You look like a prairie chicken. Yes, I do. Do you know ANYONE that has had a perm lately? Me.
8. Who's Richard Petty? Oh come on....this house is NASCAR. It's not a Non-athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks. No, Are necks are tan. We sponsored a car out at Saugus Raceway. Who here in this place of Santa Paula loves fast cars and Monster Trucks? Arkansas? Reunion time at the races. Our town rocks the raceways.
9. Deer heads detract from the decor. I have horns everywhere. In my house, in the barn, on the wagon wheels, the deers are the decor.
10. Spitting is such a nasty habit. Okay, I agree, but when a spider, ant, gnat, any fly, yellow-jacket, dirt from any pen with crap in it. Well, excuse me...do I pretend it didn't happen and go look for a napkin or actually throw-up?
11. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart? Wrong, we never, ever leave that store empty handed. And....we drive almost 40 miles to get there. Definitely, not Arkansas where there's a Walmart at every intersection. It really ticks me off that Walmart doesn't sell cowboy hats and "mossy oak" anything out here and they let Arkansas have half their store dedicated to it. Actually, that makes me so mad I could spit. No, I'm writing them, really!
12. Trim the fat off that steak. What????? How much money did we waste on corn for all those steers? "Don't walk the steer--it won't get finish." (FAT) That is just backward talk.
13. The tires on that truck are too big. When I wrote that--I didn't see it first. I choked, I think I inhaled a gnat. The universe runs on lifted trucks. Not Arkansas?
14. Would you like some Aqua Fina while you watch the Super Bowl? Granted we don't drink alcohol. What a waste of money and who says plastic is safe for water? We drink soda in a can and I like it.
15. Little Debbies snack cakes have too many fat grams? Who in the world would look at the fat grams of a Little Debbies? It's like Fried Twinkies. Duhr.
16. She's too old to be wearing that bikini? I was really tired of the naked people in the hot-tub next to the beach house. Dang. They couldn't even afford bathing suits and they just needed to wear full-on clothes. Fur' ners. Not Arkansas, at least they wear suits.
17. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. Pa....llleeeesseeee, pull up those pants. They need to be shorter guys. I hate seeing the crotch of the pants at the knees. 10 sizes tooooo big! BTW. Very short anything is almost expected attire for girls at our high school. Short shorts and shorter skirts. And...it's okay with the high school. Not me or my family! Not Arkansas?
18. Elvis who? Southern California, Hollywood, Las Vegas close-by. My grandson that's almost 2, knows Elvis personally. Blue Hawaii is in our DVD player right now.
19. Do you think this ball cap goes with this shirt? If it says "old men rule" my husband wears it. If it says, "John Deere" my daughter wears it, and if it is a feed store or feed advertisement, I wear it. Especially with my "BIG HAIR"
20. It isn't proper to take your pets to the store. Tell Paris. Granted it's not a raccoon usually, or a opossum, but giant lizards, snakes, and a lady in Lowe's had a pygmy goat on a leash. Southern California, not Arkansas.
21. I remembered the last one....Razorbacks, Aren't Those Little Piggys? Let them have it, Mike! Uh...our new American jet fighters are named after those dear little piggys. And they can't kill you, neither. (either) ha ha ha

Arkansas vs. California, We Might Even End - up Paying The Same Taxes., Who's Better? Well



1 comment:

WatsonFamily said...

Love it mom! Crackin' me up this morning. Fun way to start the day!

Love you and the big country song on your music player here ....I yearn for Disneyland and California Adventure.....(close my eyes and dream)