I have often wondered if my mom raises Alligators in her big fish pond just outside my bedroom window. She bleaches it, drains it, sweeps it, and there's no water in the fish pond except when there's an occasional (very occasional) rain. I'm beginning to discover that the real alligators that visit our home are from the crick. All of laughter of the children playing and having fun call to the alligators and they make their way up the bank and under my bedroom window. The MP3 and my big heavy earphones can not drown the noises that are coming from the reptile creatures. I don't know how many alligators are there, but they must be under the large blue Cape Plumbago bush. Something or someone must be feeding them. The alligators have decided to stay. Saddness.
When you look at the cloud do you see a silver lining or a coming storm? Why is it hanging over our home and place? This has all happened before. All of it. Different lives, different people, but heartache and despair (the alligators) seem to try and creep in at just the right times when we are doing all that we can, to do what is right.
I've tried so hard to stay on top of all the by posting fun ideas that lift and remembering happy times. I don't want to cry because my tears would never stop. I have had heart messes ( rapid, erratic beats ) maybe because I'm holding all in or just because of no sleep. I'm praying constantly and I know that my Heavenly Father hears my prayers. He hasn't abandoned us.
The Savior knows. Because He has experienced all our pains, afflictions, and infirmities, He knows how to help us rise above our difficulties ( Alma 7:11–12; D&C 122:8). He has "overcome the world" (John 16:33) and prepared the way for family to receive eternal life together. He is always ready to help us as we remember His plea: "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not" (D&C 6:36). Even when the future seems uncertain, our faith in the Savior can give peace (Romans 5:1; Helaman 5:47).
If I pray to Heavenly Father though Jesus Christ and express my gratitude to my Father and as all of us plead with Him for blessings for us and others in great need, we will draw near to Him. We will draw near to the Savior, whose Atonement makes it possible for us to plead for mercy (Alma 33:11). We will also be receptive to the quiet guidance of the Holy Ghost.
I'm trying to let this all go ... there to a place where there is much faith and comfort. All that know me, everyone that knows me, knows ... I'm a worrying fool. But, I'm trying with every bit of my heart to forgive, give love, stop worrying, and trust in the Priesthood.
I witnessed, just a couple days ago, again how Priesthood blesses us. My grand-daughter first received a blessing just after she was hit in the face with a metal bat. It was so bad that there was a large mark on her face that was bloody and very scary. When Marnie had arrived quickly at the hospital, there was no one else, waiting in the ER. Marnie didn't even have time to sign Kenna in. They asked how many times had she been hit. Kenna is now very outwardly, black and blue, but she's completely okay. Please look at Marnie's blog in a day or so when she can handle putting up the pictures of dear Kenna. Way too much ... overwhelming ... trials are competing for our prayers. If you are fasting soon, please do so for all of our family and others close to us in your prayers.
I know this post is somewhat cryptic and I couldn't bear to write all that we pray for. But, I can't help but know there can be "silver linings" though all of these many trials. Do the trials make us stronger? I don't know...but only, only my faith is best and the outcome will be the will of our Father in Heaven.
This might explain Kiely's post on her cowgirl blog. She dreamed this all before it happened, and dreamed the same dream more than once. I'm glad I listened to her.
I love my family and friends. I'm praying hard.
At a youth fireside Susan Tanner said “I have learned that I can do hard things." This mountain is tall and I'm not nearly as close to the top as the mountain climber. But I'm working on my harness and strong equipment.
Joy and Happiness vs. Sadness and Devastation