A friend? Who happens to teach a class I'm in, proceeded to tell me how messed-up my life is. I'm the only one in the class except her assistant.
I need to preface this all with ... before I went to the class, I felt better than I have in a very long time. I felt pretty, my hair was right, my make-up just right, I had on my favorite dress from my sister-in-law... that's rayon, flowly, and a beautiful black and white gingham. I put on my grandmother's cologne (not her's exactly..but her brand) I smelled like someone I loved and to top it off.... My husband gave me a beautiful red rose and he told me I was the prettiest girl in the room. I felt giggly.
I've been praying so much lately, reading the scriptures, receiving blessings that completely have put me a place in my life that I have always wanted to be. I've been on a spiritual high that has literally been wonderful.
Then, I went to class and my teacher wouldn't teach me: I Was Facing Gossip. She scolded me harshly for spending my time helping my family. That my family was making wrong decisions--she could "see it" way before! She actually "knew" this was all going to happen years ago. She has been receiving information about me for years? Who's telling her? Now, I'm being very kind here, it was worse than I can write. She even said my unbaptized grand-daughter had legions of demons. Oh, there's more..... She wouldn't let me defend myself. I just kept nodding like those dolls on the dash of a car, on a bumpy road.
I had told her that I was called to be a webmaster. Why I said that, I'm unsure. She said to thank her because she called me to that position. She is a physic and can see the future all the time. She also could tell if a person is evil, by their eyes and that evil persons will hide or shield their face from her.
My dear Bree, called me from Arkansas and we talk daily. Bree, as a teenager, has seen the future just minutes before something terrible happens. Like when a man fell out of a tree and she knew it, and told us, and he did. Then, another time she thought an older lady would fall and she lady did fall. Bree didn't make it there to catch her in time. Sooooo. I'm again, trying to rationalize that maybe my teacher has these gifts and maybe she "can see" legions of demons. She's very convincing.
She proceeded to tell me that I should order my children, to take my grandchildren away from me babysitting, because I have to learn and be more prepared with my assignments. And, my children need to learn to take care of their own children. (I'm not helping them?) The grandchildren were not my responsibility and my children are USING ME. I WANT to be USED! She told me I was just making excuses of how to get out of doing my work for that class.
I going to add here: She does the same for her family, I mean help, like help them. But still... I said nothing. It was a 50 minute tirade of well...summary: I'm a mess.
Her quote--- said with harshness, "How old are you!!??" "You need to grow-up and quit being so nieve!!!!" So I'm nieve--I don't know even how to spell it, so I guess I am.
I tried to talk to Bree. I sadly said to Bree, "I Got Told" I had said that to the teacher of the class as I was leaving, "Well, I just got told!" I did say that! Also, I'm getting more depressed everyday. I said, "I went with a beautiful dress and a red rose and as I left to go home and as I walked down the long hall the beautiful dress I was wearing.... was tearing apart, shredding!" "My beautiful, favorite dress became threads and slashed like I had been attacked by claws."It was just thoughts, but really.. I was thinking that. Totally weird thoughts and I became very sad. I told her I had to hide the dress at home and then, I cried. She became so angry on the phone, she cried. Bree said, " Mom, you are shredded, your spirit is shredded, not your dress." I tried wearing it to YW, on Wednesday. Yes, it's still un-mended, it didn't meld back together. Now, I'm crying again.
I called my teacher on Thursday. She answered with almost a "What!" I asked a simple question, that I really knew the answer to because somewhere inside me I thought she would say something...different... like sorry.
If she reads this she'll know I'm referring to her and she'll be angry. No one will know it was her. So, if you're reading this. You hurt me and I'm going to be okay. Normal people don't go back to classes when this happens. I received no instruction except to get my "house-in-order" and until then, she wouldn't be able to help me. Not just my lessons (that's what I'll call it), but my life, my disheveled house, and my attention. She's asking a lot there. We are having a garage sale and she asking the "Queen of A.D.D.' to give her attention?" I'm still the nodding doll.
I love all my children and family, unconditionally. Though thick and thin, no matter what. Isn't this what life is.....unconditional love and charity. BTW. I'm not mad or venting, well...a little venting. I'm trying to figure this all out. Like WHY? I'm trying so hard to live a good and sweet life. Quote from Marnie, "Our family is closer than we've ever been in 13 years." "Don't worry."
I think I'll wear my Easter dress next time I go. Should I cut my hair?
I talked to my husband and he said the same thing he always does, "Whatta' want me to do? Go shoot her?" (so....if she dies, it wasn't him...we have no guns and that was a sarcastic remark from a firefighter who saves lives) I said "No....don't shoot her." and he turned over in bed and said this, that always goes with along with his previous question... "THEN, GET OVER IT!"
I need to get on a horse and ride it out. I'm going to look for a graphic. I can think of a couple I won't post. Better yet, I'm taking a friend with me to class. Always remember it's hard to write on a blog and then edit your mistakes when your crying.
Mean People Suck. Sad-Depressed and Ugly