Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Empty Nest This is Where It All Gets Scary

The Last, Kiely Is Going To College
Do I want her to go? Easy answer: "No!" She has spent all her scholarship money and steer auction money on her education at three different community colleges. Some courses are still unavailable to her because incoming freshman always get first shot at Spanish and English 101. Not nice, actually since she has 86 transferable credits and since she has to have those two classes for graduation from junior college and to transfer to the state college it makes transferring difficult, but...well...she can still do it. Kiely is actually trying to get into a college not far from where Dave and Larin are going to live soon. She hopes to get housing, but they are planning for her to live with them just in case she doesn't receive a scholarship for the shared housing. Kiely has a strong "B" average and lots of leadership experience. We are going to send them a real example of being a well-rounded individual with a determination of all her sisters and brother, combined. She wants to learn so bad and loves school. Wow! If I only had that will-power when I attended school.

Kiely tells us all the time that Heavenly Father didn't want her to attend Cal Poly like her grandfather. I thought that not going up there to San Luis Obisbo or to U.C. Davis would break her heart. She has been disappointed with stories from so many new freshman that come back from BYU of stories (completely just stories, but she does want the LDS atmosphere) BYU isn't what they expected, and it was too huge to really acclimate. The weather, no friends, small town girls get confused....no Animal Science Department to speak of, and a great way to be lost in the shuffle. Small town girl hitting Provo would be like downtown Los Angeles with the same very fast cars, but super slippery and foggy. I think she made a wise chioce. She's excited that the school seems to fit her perfectly.

The tuition for an out-of-state person to attend any Utah school is about $8,000. Steve and I are still taking her up to the school this weekend and try very hard to attend General Conference, also.

Kiely has only seen Utah through a young babies eyes and tells us that it looks like an old sepia-type photo, even the lights on the Temple. Yes, we were only there in the darkest part of winter. What Kiely saw was white, browns, grays and black. She can't even imagine that it is as pretty as her Grandma Dune describes. Sooooo, here she is wanting to go to an upstanding school that has great discipline like an LDS religious school. She could study her chosen major in a smaller environment. She already knows some students that are going to the same school when she goes as a junior.

Is it weird for a mother to not want her to get accepted yet? I couldn't stand for her to be disappointed again. I am absolutely sure she could get in, if we had the money. It's all gone. Everything we saved for this day has gone to other priorities and the economy. Does she dare get a loan? We will have to do this like we jump into anything. We will have to rely on turning this over to the Lord and not worry. If she gets in and starts, maybe things will come for her to keep her there, or on to the next chosen college... that she's aiming for at this time. She has followed the advice of the Church leaders to attend local schools first, and then continue after accomplishing that goal. Kiely is ready.

This whole thing makes me "sigh" and then feel lonely. I'll miss her silly laugh and still running down the hall, practicing tap dancing on my living room floor, and trying to out-scream Tatum. And Sahara and I will miss her, "SSSSaaa---hairrrrr---aaaa," high pitched "hello" to her horse every morning.

P.S. From all the errors in my grammar, spelling, and verb agreement, etc. you can sure tell I didn't do much in college! Yes, all this school stuff rattles me completely.

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