Monday, October 10, 2011

The Days of SPAM and Woe-zes (no "wine" and pruned the "roses")

 I ate some SPAM today and it wasn't bad tasting at all, my SPAM sandwich was truly just what my tummy needed. My firefighter/CERT instructor husband made me dinner. That's not unusual for my Steve because he loves to cook, however, I wouldn't have thought to ask him, "Hey, would you fry-up some ol' SPAM for me?"

"Hey Mikey .... he likes it!" I had to quote the old 1972 Life Cereal slogan. I don't have a Mikey, but I have a Dustin, and he does eat SPAM. The "Life" part of the slogan relates to me that this ground-potted meat that can sustain a life when putting together a family preparedness supply for times of an emergency. The 72-hour pack has been a real push and here again, Steve's training another big class on Wednesday night.  Today was a'bit of a disaster for me and I needed a protein-type of a food and "click" my husband went into his emergency-mode, "She needs some SPAM!"

I can't bring myself to read the ingredients but I know there's no shelf-life, it can be eaten right outta' the can, and it's a source of protein. I've heard it's redeeming qualities many times before when attending his classes. After his announcement of it's greatness, it's always followed by everyone in the whole class moaning out-loud in unison, just like its scripted. (moan here and make a face) I'm going to say what's real: SPAM will look, smell, and taste like the best cut of meat anyone could ever fix if you were hungry and the added fat is actually a'bit satisfying. (that's my added thought)

I've eaten SPAM at the Hawaiian fast-food place and decided then, after an awkward attempt to even taste it, caused me to start gagging. I "fake-coughed" and then looked-up at the pretty pictures and pretended I was on vacation. I couldn't act like a little kid and push it on the floor, especially in front of all the others in the restaurant eating their SPAM-inspired culinary presentations.  I couldn't upset my husband, because that would be so ungrateful. I was his guest and he was taking me out. This was a date and treat just for me and I know for sure he still wanted to eat his order selection. Okay, I'll make this worse...I asked him to take me there. Hawaiian-anything sounded so wonderful on a cold, rainy night. Does my turning my nose-up sound immature and not thankful for his generosity? The food wasn't cheap, even though real SPAM is a deal at the market. I think I ordered the wrong items, ahhh "Sweet and Sour SPAM" It's hard to even write it. I WAS grateful for the pretty pictures on the walls all around the restaurant, and the steaming, smokey atmosphere. "Don't look down" was on rerun-mode in my head. Steve asked me, "Why aren't you eating very much?" I already had an answer prepared. "I must not be as hungry as I thought" "Aren't these pretty pictures?" "I love yellow ... and blue .. and waves ...".

I do live in Southern California. I feel lucky that the only times he's asked to go since that time to the Hawaiian SPAM place, is when it's been beautiful and really warm here. My answer has been, "We have our own Hawaii, right here". Confession:  Waikiki Wieners with pineapple made me sick, too. I had to watch my children try and eat the Wacko-wieners and it was my recipe!

Now that I've thoroughly convinced all not to even try SPAM. It wasn't really the SPAM that was bad, it was the way it was prepared. Sweet and Sour seems really yucky to me, unless it was our Santa Paula Lin's Chinese Restaurant.

The first step is to just buy it, just get it and store it on your shelf or in your "grab and run" bag in your emergency supply storage.

 Then, just try and find a way you can eat it or incorporate it in your cooking, like the Chef Cook-Off TV shows. An even better way is to go to the SPAM website and find a good recipe and have your family get used-to eating it and it's taste. There's probably a vegetarian SPAM somewhere if your inclined to not eat real meat. Here's the link: 

The sandwich that I had was good. Plain and good. I'm sharing the only way my own children would gobble cans of SPAM and not even know it. Well .... they know it now, and I think they still love it. Yes, it's fatty and the crackers have a lot of sodium, but every once-in-a-while on Sunday night we had our favorite "pick-night" dinner. (Pick something out of our cupboards and eat it. It's so really, really easy and no mess)

1 can of SPAM grated
1 large onion grated
1/2 pound of Monterey Jack Cheese grated
2 Grated Dill Pickles
Mix together with a couple big dollops of Real Mayonnaise and serve as a dip with Chicken-In-A- Biskit Crackers. I know it's junk food, but once-in-a-while, I think it's okay. We're practicing eating what we store!
 Really, these are the only crackers my children
could eat with this because they
thought all my other crackers were too bland.

The truth is, no matter if I tripled the recipe I never had leftovers. I never told them the dip was SPAM, either. The kids would just hand me the cracker box and I knew they wanted this simple meal. I did have six children, so to triple the recipe wasn't that much for all of us and the poor children really had to scramble for food when we had a regular meal. Poor children, "Did I not make enough?"

 As you travel to the market, pretend that the street stencils say "SPAM" and you won't forget.

I promise that this SPAM isn't a virus or has malware

The time will come when there aren't any groceries in the stores, you will be so glad and thankful that you put some of these strange canned meat away for yourself and your family. Sheesh, I'm thinking about the other cans we have stored: Sardines, smoked smelt, pickled herring, will I be able to eat them? Yep, and I know when I need to eat them they will be like Halibut or Salmon. Or maybe ... I'll just look-up.

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