A Little Creepy, to Me |
I’ve been procrastinating this post for so long. There's a peculiar speech bubble stuck in my head; I feel I’ve failed my school courses. They weren’t hard and I had just figured-out the modules and new way to learn. It was mostly doing an assignment and checking-off each assignment.
I stopped school suddenly. It was one of those atrial fibrillation episodes. I could do both. I told myself so many times and I even thought my prayers would be answered. They were and it wasn't meant to be this semester. Twice I went to the hospital and both times they worked all night and all right to lower my heart rate without the cardioversion. One was an accident when I was startled out of sleep and the other was 100 and jumpy, and the hospital could let me go home.
I was finding that I was becoming tolerant to the heart meds and I was taking the highest recommended amount. Finally, after a few days, my heart was normal. I knew school would have to wait. I need those ablations. It’s like using a disbudding iron and burning my electrical escapee points.
Wise Words and Photo from my daughter, Larin Knapp |
Now, I've had six cardioversions in one year and four ablasions, actually one was a dud because the team had to stop because there was a blood clot. Really, they saved my life by finding it. I did have another rough and extensive ablation, but somehow I managed to put myself back into "crazy heart" again.
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I've got to become a normal blogger without the gaps. It's been six whole months and I thought I'd get on with trying to just finish this one blog post and try and go back to writing regularly. What I didn't know was that my heart just needs medication and move on. I'm not upset with my heart that I was given and grateful it was only atrial fib and tachycardia. My valves in my heart could be causing more trouble, my murmur could be a lot more severe, and more.
My knees could be better and it really makes me upset that my thoughts 20 years ago were to not climb the ladder and I did anyway. I fell on my knees and then was dragged into a fence, that was used for military runway stability. The fence didn't give, in-other-words. The rope was nylon and I didn't have gloves on and I now have no calluses. I made mistakes all the way around and I knew beforehand. That accident changed my life. My daughter rear-view mirror photo fits my life so much. I could've done so much more, I could've hiked and leisurely walked in the park. Lesson learned and I do have to be better. I think this is where my New Year's resolution begins in March.
Yes, I'm disabled with my knees and heart, but no way am I changing my ADL. An acronym for Activities for Daily Living. WHAT? It's on my chart at my Primary Care Doctor. Sheesh, I brush my own teeth, shower, lots of make-up, etc. My ADL even when I don't leave the house!
I'm going to the doctor again on Tuesday, and by that time I will have been in atrial fibrillation and tachycardia for 24 days. I don't know what the doctor has planned. I know the routine. I have the best doctor and anesthesiologist and I awake like I've taken a nap. No shaking. I'll have headphones for privacy or to give privacy to others. Then, it's off to USC to have my Thyroid removed with a cardiologist. I'll be so happy that for awhile my hospital visits will be in my past, please.
No more griping about health stuff because I have so much else to think about. When I read back on this I'll know why it took me so long. I think facing any surgery causes anxiety and I was putting off my blog post because I was afraid that anxiety and writing about my heart and knees would send an arrow in my brain that I didn't want to face-up to it. I did and really, I do feel better and yep, I could have a stroke or heart attack without this procedure and going to the doctor. But, maybe later because I have lots more to do. I'm not dying today and there you go. Health News is over.
Proverb Art by Mary Engelbreit |