Wednesday, November 19, 2014

OOPS! Blogger Changed While I Was MIA

It is time for me to get back to regular; maybe regular blogging. One thing that keeps me from blogging is if I'm sick, or going through a tough-time. It's fun to blog when life is a breeze or when it's just downright fun.

There's so many bloggers out there that write about the pain and suffering they're enduring. It maybe really therapeutic for them or comforting and helping others going through the same challenges. The trials we face can run from emotional problems, grief, sadness, help others in need, to overcoming an illness or coping with a chronic illness. I know lots of bloggers write about their faith and ways to strengthen themselves or trying to build faith as they seek strength in their life. I've probably written about that a little or a lot. I have.

That's not me exactly. I confess that when something happens my blogging hands quit. I guess I don't want to face or see the my life's burdens in print. I suppose, if I get-on with it things will be back to crazy normal. I really don't even want my children or grandchildren to know that I have anything negative going-on in my life. No one is immune from trials and at the moment I can't even jump over a very low hurtle. Now that I think about it, I quit jumping around when I had my first pregnancy. Dang. I loved to jump.

I have this genetic heart defect and right now it's getting in the way of all I need to have done to take my Hashimoto's Thyroid out of my fat neck. It's another  "hereditary condition." My thyroid has grown a lot this year and is starting to block my trachea. Everyday my voice goes-out or I become very hoarse.(horse, hahahaha) and that's not too bad, but I really like to breathe.

There's other stuff like my broken knees. I need find some reinforcement to help me walk better after surgery. No more prednisone for me and trying to get a referral to have injections of that "rooster-comb" cushion that gave me so much relief a few years ago. I haven't liked my age of 63 one-single-bit. I need to jump-in and get all these health stuff done and have faith and be strong. I need to act like I did when I was a whole bunch younger and face-it. And saying to myself, "Let's do it!"

There are lots of  tests that are required for surgery and the self-given shots are not for sissy's. I think everyone has to jump through a lot of hoops to get any surgery accomplished. I've been practicing for these things my whole life. I said first, "Oh no, on the shots!"  I've got to keep telling myself,  "If I can have given a thousand shots 'sub-q' or 'intramuscularly' what was I doing all these years?" I was practicing for these days. I've been giving shots since I was only 10 years old.

Don't Stop Reading Here!

I had to have this "episode" to make all the doctors jump into action and I quit the denials on my Blue Shield. Now finally there's action. I can see I'm going to get my health in order. Finally. My episode happened and I had a crazy tachycardia/atrial fib session that I couldn't get in-control with medication and I had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night. This just happened.

My heartbeats were like a hummingbirds. It was going so fast my firefighter husband couldn't get a count on my plus. It exhausted me after about 10 minutes of "crazy-heart-racing" It was like the emergency before almost 200/minute. Now even though my heart is racing everything else at the hospital was in super-slow-motion. It went from getting-in, testing me in one room, testing my heart, x-rays, all of it was so slow and I'm on SPEED.

The Doctor came in again and I know this routine. She told me my heart doesn't have any clots in the upper chambers and we can't let you go home until your heart rate is at 100/minute or less. It had steadied about 115 and did a 'swing-dance' and then 114. It just went back and forth with the blipping in-between. I knew what was coming. I knew it. All this time is going by and it's going so slow. My Steve's beside me, busy keeping awake playing solitaire. I understand, he wasn't the one that's getting zapped with paddles and I tried and stay awake for him. It was almost 6:oo am.

The nurse took my blood pressure again and I was so tired I didn't even look. My IV was in my hand? Oh yeah, never had it there before and it felt weird to move it. The nurse placed my hand across my chest. (important fact) I knew that the nurses and the doctor were monitoring me and I could hear them talking about the techs coming to work and arranging for my "procedure" to put my heart back in normal rhythm. I forgot, what is normal? j/k

So I'm singing to myself an old Peter, Paul, and Mary song--the only one I could think of at the time so I could try and sleep. I was over trying to stay awake. So it was, "____, the magic dragon lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn-mist in a land called Onaleeee. A little thought darted through my head, "Where's this place and what's the stupid dragon's name?" And then it happened! A loud, crazy buzzing was coming from my heart and my right forearm is completely stiff. I jumped thinking I'm getting the paddles without anyone being there except Steve in the chair next to my bed.

BREATHE! Oh yes, I could breathe. I felt suddenly so wonderful! I said softly to Steve, "I feel really good" "Steve, HEY! I feel really, really good!" Here I am trying over and over to get his attention and still in the "slo-mo-mode." He couldn't hear me like I wasn't talking at all. He wasn't asleep! OMGsh! I stopped and I realized I am DEAD! I'm DEAD!

Steve can't hear me and I feel wonderful. Well, that stinks. I thought if I swatted-him my hand would go right through him. Naw, he looked-up at me and said, "What?" "What are you doing?" "Not dead, I'm not dead!" I practically yelled it at him, The nurses and doctor had come in and Steve and I looked at the monitor behind us and my heart had converted to 55. Wow! I know my husband is deaf!

Humor from Natural Horsemanship --Rick Gore
Humor From The Website: Think Like A Horse --Rick Gore

The doctor asked how I felt and they saw my heart change suddenly. I know you can change it by blowing super-hard through a syringe, pushing-down like your delivering a baby, coughing, sneezing, and there maybe other things but those have never worked for me. The nurse lifted the covers and there it was.... the blood pressure cuff was over my heart and had gone-off on it's own and it startled me so much that I about fell-off the bed. Now I know why there's baby-rails on adults patient's beds.

The 30 second scenario now has taken paragraphs to write. I tried to explain to the doctor and nurses and they were smiling and then I ruined it by saying, "Puff!" "It's Puff!" Oh no...I turned crazy on everyone. I could see on their faces I was saying something really weird out-loud that was meant just for me. The little bit of Tourette in me, I guess,

 It was time to get dressed and outta' there. Steve told the nurse that the next time he's going to pretend to run into a tree; skidding and just missing it so he didn't have to haul me up to the hospital and pay so much money to get me discharged.

I waited for the FJ to come to the curb and I climbed-in and before we left Steve asked, "What was that you said in there?" He was asking me if I had a screw loose somewhere. I said I remembered the first word of the song I was singing ... just before my heart went back to normal. I explained, "It was "Puff" you know, that mighty dragon?" He said, "Well, THAT was weird!" Me, "So this whole thing was weird! I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD!" So I end this delightful journey into my sick history.

My dear husband was trapped! I slammed-it-into one and or Mach 1 and let him have it. He was deaf and I'm tired of his inability to hear, he is deaf, and it's his fault I thought I was dead. Blah, Blah, Blah, all the way home and I slept for two days.        

Thank you Steve for being there and helping me. I love you!   

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Always Too Late Making My Blog Posts

I had the best birthday ever! Considering I am now 64. I started my website when I was 47. It took a lot to get me to move over to blogging. My webpages were before Facebook and Instagram. It was even before Website Editors. I wrote all my Hyper Text Markup Language by myself. 

And my first page was a poem, then a page about "The Meaning of Flowers." I learned so much. I had a webpage on my home, our weddings, how to grow gardens and I connected them all. My favorite was my genealogy and every page had "midi" music. I think I had about 25+ subjects and each with one or three pages long.

I was asked by dozens of people to set pages online for them. I was busy selling Automobile Emblems on EBay. I was the "Emblem Queen" after aquiring the largest known collection of emblems, hub nuts, and scripts in the world. I still have too much left over. It was so fun! I was a seller and even made my own page to sell my goodies.

It was interesting on EBay! You could actually SEE the bidding going-up as you watched the computer monitor. No sniping back then.

I made so many web pages for my friend's start-up companies and even for a pest company my husband was working at part time. If I couldn't find a picture I needed, I hand drew it (basically) on my art program. I even made the company's logo. Work.

I always got this same let-down. "Looks like we can manage." "We are looking for something a little more fun, business-like, or less wordy"  I was often told that I could have a commission of anything that the company or my friends' sold. 

I put my heart into every page I created and my husband's company outright stole my page. Something to do with him working for them. Okay, I learned a lot and I did a great job.

The others would change their page a bit here and there. So the website (they said) wasn't really my project anymore.

 I wasn't through because I felt it was my new hobby. I taught HTML for fun. Ugh! There was no change with everyone and I was still doing all the work. All anyone really wanted was a website and not learning how to put one up on the Internet.

Lately, I've missed so many events. I really need to go back and fill-in my blank weeks of blogging zero. 

I know this whole blog post sounds like bragging. Now, I'm just learning to blog on my phone. I hated trying to learn "Flash Scripts" barely managed "Cascading Style Scripts." I still feel new(bie) I've always disliked that term. 

My brick-wall at blogging is that I'm needing new glasses and huge adjustments to my eyes. I hate typing; it makes me look like I'm crying with tears included. I have a handkerchief and Tylenol at my side.

I suppose I should've gotten glasses for my birthday. I adore my bright red Kitchen Aid with attachments! And goodies that never expected. 

My silver Young Woman's with a ruby? I did earn it, but never expected to have one. I'm so blessed. 

What do I need to remember about my birthday? Don't try and carry more than you need. Make more trips back and retrieve your presents because falling-out of a 4-wheel Toyota FJ can take all the fun out of playthings. Yes I did. I fell out on the driveway and knocked myself out.

Pause. I hold my silver, charm-necklace between my pointer-finger and thumb; thinking. It's not the charm, it's what I learned, what I did, and happiness I felt when I chose to do right. The right things were easy and hard. I think the really hard ones like studying the Scriptures every single day throughout this year started-out hard, but became easy like I missed my day without study, I couldn't NOT do it. I really missed the feelings of having that extra strength in my day. I really love learning the Gospel and love the Primary and my challenges I have there and I also love the Young Women's Programs; I still follow.

Maybe a sideways look toward the mixer... and I have the same feeling. It's not the cookies I make for me. Oh No! It's the little ones with me and watching my grandchildren and children after baking! I love to cook for them and WITH them as much as seeing them eating Gingerbread men, cookies, and Divinity. 

The homemade bread is for Steve and Primary treats are a joy. We'll both be eating healthier with the slicer/dicer attachments. It's about doing, giving, and learning and making memories to blog.

Yep, I want to say, "I remember that."  HTML wasn't for money, it was to get to this place of a journal about family. I would have never jumped right into blogging without some HTML knowledge. I'm feeling really blessed and it's not going away.